Diary of a mature university student aged 59 1/2

...that would have been interesting...

I’m sure I’ve mentioned it before, but when I began my midwifery training in 1994, I agreed to write regularly for the National Childbirth Trust’s (NCT) magazine New Generation. At the time, Sue Townsend’s The Secret Diary of Adrian Mole Aged 13 3/4 series of books was popular and so I named my series Diary of a Student Midwife Aged 31 1/2. Over three years I reported back on my course as the NHS and, at first Berkshire School of Midwifery and Nursing, latterly Thames Valley University, tried to mould me into an ‘institutional midwife’. Suffice to say, what I shared got me into trouble at times. This week, after responding to a couple of posts on Substack (Jenny Lindsay) (Kellie-Jay) I found myself wondering how interesting it would have been to have repeated this idea as a mature student at university (2021 aged 59 1/2), specifically a woman who knows the importance of sex as biology and its role in keeping women and girls safe. What would I have been able to share?

There’s no doubt that I would have felt restricted and any anecdotes could have, in these days of social media policing, led to real problems for me at the university or elsewhere. But, as I graduate, I’d like to share some ‘observations’ that I have noted during my time mixing (albeit online) with a range of people, but mostly much younger than I, and in an environment that is known as a hotbed of gender identity ideology; it is generally accepted that academia is responsible for the genesis of these beliefs.

I am drawing on three separate ‘worlds’ that inhabit my life: the Arts: Paganism: and the genre of Fantasy.

The Arts - By choice, I didn’t go down a typical academic route on leaving school. I wanted to go to Art College and study Fashion Design. This was 1979, and then, just as now, you can imagine the, what we might have called ‘colourful’, in those days, people I was mixing with in that environment; today we would say ‘diverse’. I had been a Punk, then a New Romantic and thoroughly enjoyed dressing up - wild clothes, wild makeup - rebel! Shock the Parents! Be different, don’t be like everyone else. Except now when I look back, that was exactly what I was doing; I was being like everyone else in my peer group, but we were just ahead of the curve as we were the ones creating the fashions, or at least running with whatever the new looks that were dictated by the fashion industry were, with a tweak here and there to signal individuality. Basically, we were doing what each generation does at that age - blame the hormones - it’s normal.

I had lesbian friends, straight friends, gay friends, ‘bi’ friends, friends from many parts of the world and locally. My experience was vibrant, fun, foolish, risky at times, but I do not recall any deep seated beliefs or ideologies getting in the way. I had Muslim friends, Christian friends and always Pagan leaning friends (if anything, that was the belief in the closet still at that time). There were Political types, Conservative and Liberal back then mostly locally, but obviously in the college, a lot of real Socialists. There were debates, discussions and dissension, but truly, I don’t remember big fall outs. Yes, there were ‘in groups’, the cliques and outsiders, but that was normal. Feminism wasn’t a thing I remember much about though, at least not for me (sadly…). Anyway, we all seemed to rub along as they say, with that quiet awareness of its day of those who were a bit different (neurodiverse) or not really happy (mental health issues) - there didn’t seem to be any hysteria about anything. Passion, yes. I do remember campaigns (we’d call activism now) particularly concerning racism.

I can’t deny, I’m a natural optimist. Was it really just how I saw the world?

Paganism - I’m not going to trawl through my spiritual explorations of 50+ years, but having settled into a Druid community, I noted the again ‘colourful’ (and here Pagans do have a tendency to be literally colourful!) people that were my friends and acquaintances. All of the above as described along with more extreme dressing up tendencies - to get an idea, just visit Glastonbury town anytime (Normal for Glastonbury). Recently, our truly inclusive community have seen obvious and not so obvious gender identities amongst our ranks - no problem - carry on - no drama. We all understand and respect each other’s beliefs. And I think that this is an important distinction. As Pagans we work with some quite unusual patterns of behaviour when enacting our spiritual expression; how we do this is both eclectic and individual. So acceptance, rules. Whilst we may discuss points of view regarding ‘masculine and feminine’ as energies, spirits, Gods, Goddesses etc, we understand that here too, diversity rules. So I’ve not personally come across any ‘finger pointing’ or fall outs within the community itself. Saying that, I have seen some once close Pagan acquaintances step away from me on social media as they twigged that I was not aligned with them and gender identity ideology and that I was happy to state that sex matters… This is a general pattern throughout all my friendship circles, people ghosting me if I wasn’t prepared to be part of their echo chamber. That’s their issue - as I always say, I’m happy to be friends with folk who think differently to me.

Fantasy - I’ve always enjoyed fantasy novels, but didn’t know there was such a huge and vibrant fantasy and SF writing scene until I went to university in 2020. As part of my Masters (MLit) I had the good fortune to do a module on Fantasy novels - it was fabulous! This brought me into a new community and I fitted right in; I’ve never experienced such a weird and wonderful group of misfits and geeks - all ages, backgrounds… that word again, diversity rules. But as time went on, I began to notice some quite specific differences about this particular community. Anecdotally, there is a high proportion of gender non-conforming folk of course, but who do identify as some sort of T+, also I note that mental health and neurodivergence is rife; everyone seems to have an array of labels and identities. I found it baffling at times. What became apparent as time wore on, was that you were expected to go along with it - all of it - no matter how wild and wacky. Now remember, I come from some pretty wild and wacky experiences, but even I found it a struggle to keep myself silent - because I did; it was very apparent that anything other than affirmation to it all would be construed as some sort of micro aggression or challenge that was not acceptable. I’m not saying that it was explicitly stated, but the constant emails from the university about ‘gender based violence’ and training on ‘diversity and inclusion’ made sure you got the message of what was expected. I was shocked at times, such as seeing medical students supporting gender identity ideology over the reality of sex. (There again, what hope is there when the BMA are confused (Biology in Medicine). What I do think is a connection is the ease at which these (mostly young) people in the Fantasy and SF community confuse, or link the world of fiction with reality - particularly those with an interest in transhumanism (beware see

Jennifer Bilek

). I see a definite correlation between these individuals and their embracing of, let’s call it, ‘the queering of everything’. I used to like the word queer until it became the monstrosity of illusion it is today.

The Arts, again - I suppose that this recent immersion into university for 4 years (Arts and Humanities - school of Critical Studies) has been a real education for me (no pun intended…). Apart from earning a doctorate (DFA) and having a great time (I did, I really did) the University of Glasgow has given me an insight into young people and society at large that I otherwise would not have benefitted from. I was able to observe from a safe space, (my home - I live in a remote location and studied online) the intense madness that has taken over so many institutions and especially here in Scotland. This only spurred me to do what little I could through being open about my position, as a woman, a feminist, and student, and in the end, I couldn’t keep this thinking out of my thesis.

I am now safely out the otherside - Dr Lynn R S Genevieve - I graduate proper in July and I’m thankful to the University of Glasgow, and specifically my supervisors, who in the end did not oppose my words, my truth written into my thesis.

Conclusion - For me, one word describes probably 99% of the people I came across who believe in gender identity ideology during this time - TROUBLED. If someone introduced themselves with pronouns, mental health labels or activist virtue signalling credentials, it soon became apparent that these were people who struggled to ‘be’ - just that. I find it incredibly sad that the next generation (if the university students and young people on social media I regularly see are anything to go by) seem ill equipped to bring up the generation following them with grace… to say nothing of ending wars, division of peoples, arresting climate change and saving the world.

If I was the swearing type, I’d say we’re f***ed…

But I can’t end on that negative note - as I’ve said - I’m an optimist at heart. My dad is 91 this weekend, and he’s an incredibly accepting man - I don’t know that he has a motto, but it could easily be ‘live and let live’ - what an inspiration. Happy Birthday Dad - looking forward to birthday lunch!